It's the slow, gradual transgression back to the darker days.
Just like Lucrezia Borgia's victims, slowly succumbing to the arsenic added to their food.

Bro came back today, and he bought a little souvenir for me. It was a reallyawkward moment when he handed to me. Unexpectedly bashful, he was like "I got everyone something, so you should have one too." And placed the little ethnic doll on the coffee table. I was quite taken aback on his sudden recognition of my existence, all I could say was thanks. All at the same time, rebuking myself for not carrying on a conversation. Awkward moments, call for awkward actions, leading to awkward thoughts.

Ntu hall bash last night was pretty okay. I went with a whole medly of random people. Huili, shimin, their hallmate yushun and natredspecs! Then szeling came along, and she dragged us to join her xcountry, track guys and their friends. It was pretty empty as the music was weird, so we went over to phuture which was suffocatingly squashed and we had to keep fighting for space.

Banu you sukerwithafauxhawk! I didn't manage to icebox with you.

We are so young
our lives have just begun
but already we're considering
escape from this world

and we've waited for so long
for this moment to come
we're so anxious to be together
together in death

This world is a cruel place
and we're here only to lose
so before life tears us apart let
death bless me with you

this life ain't worth living

Existence is tiring.

An essay for lit,
test on 5 chapters for euro history(of which the content is impossible to absorb),
a film to be made for singapore film,
thai words to learn draw and commit to memory,
discussion for simulation of the paris peace conference to be done
plus readings to catch up the lectures to be completed.

All this along with the anxiety to find a job, was the most probable accumulation ammounting to my ague.
THis sounds so childish and immature but, SCHOOL SUCKS.

These two days have been really tiring for me! Yesterday was 12 to 8 classes without breaks. I was starving by the time lit lecture started. Today was even worst, I had a major migraine and was positively prostrate with hunger during sociology tutorial. Plus, today is a milestone in my education life! After a whole year of abscence from essay writing, I had a little pop quiz during literature tutorial in which I had to write a little essay in fifteen minutes. I guess that answers on my question pertaining to which module I had a quiz in! I vaguely remember a tutor mentioning it, but had absolute difficulty recalling which had said so.

Sociology tutorial was pretty interesting. I was way too hungry and plagued by my headwrenching ailment to fully comprehend what the tutor was saying and respond to the discussions. However, there was this really cool activity where we had to go out around campus and perform a series of acts which actually defied the norms of society, and then take note of people' responses. We were split into groups for this and it was really quite funny. Zihua and I were to be a lesbian couple, holding hands around campus. A male couple was also to be doing it, but we didn't get to see it. Another was where this couple were to stand at a toilet doorway(both female and male), and talk at the doorway. But the funniest one was where someone had to go talk to a wall. So I was just asking around who was to do it, and the Swedish exchange student was like "So you really want to see it? Is it really that intersting?" And he went to the canteen wall and began having a very gesticulated and engaging conversation with the wall! It was really hilarious watching him trying to get the wall to respond to him, and everyne else in the canteen just turning to stare. After that, he and this other guy were like "HEY, watch this." And they just sat at this poor guy's table and stoned there. The poor chap looking really uncomfortable and was like guffawing into his noodles. But after awhile, he just ignored them which wasn't too fun already.

I cant wait till fridaaaayyyy. School sucks.

Even dentists need extra income.

This job hunting stint is really getting to me. Without the baggage of having to spend my time on a job, I can already feel the stresses of varsity life. The perennial flow of readings which I can barely comprehend and catch up with, the perceptive views of the rest of the class sending me down the depths of inadequacy. I find myself doubting my place in FASS. Do I truly belong here? Should I have gone along with something I am good at, or more accurately, better at? Or was it the right choice to follow my interest in whic I completely lack talent in?

My job applications have failed to respond, and my money is running low. Of course, the general response would be to take up tutoring which a)is good money and b)has the most flexible hours which suits best to a university student. However, I have this little problem of memory lapse. In which information does not retain in my memory for a period of longer than a year. How could I tutor a primary school child, when I myself have forgotten all the methods of drawing models in various colours to help you find out how much Ali would get after giving out his pie to six of his friends in inequal distribution? How am I going to answer what is the past, present and future tense when I myself have failed grammar? Is it grammer or grammar even? Another issue is that I can't handle kids. After my brief stint as an assitant coach, I have fully discovered my inability to communicateand associate with anyone under the age of 14, 16 even. Ageist, I know.

Of course, one could always turn to dear old mother, bat those little pussinboots peepers and grovel for allowance. But having a brother who was able to earn his keep right after graduating from secondary school? My pride stands in the way more than ever. Maybe I would resort to tuition. And let the poor child suffer under my horrid tutoring skills. Money knows no shame I suppose.

I WANT

Some photos from ukbound and crazy elephant. Most of them are on facebook though, since that's where I get to steal from others. Haha.







Concert ticket!!

My stint of studying till 3am outside Shimin's room in ntu. There was a menacing bee inside, plus it was much stuffier. So we migrated onto the corridors for our little mugfest. The wafts of sweet chocolate aromas weren't a killjoy either! I've become such a regular resident in their room, I'm pratically their secret third roomie. Hahah. Already, I have left my toothbrush and towel there. Soon enough, half my wardrobe would end up in hall 8.

UKBound party must have been the worst parties I've ever been to. Butterfactory was so hidden away, that sm and I didn't even know we were right in front of it. Kudos to its decor though. THe whole place was really tiny, and despite that, it was really empty too. I met sam ling, josephine and some other crescent girl there. All of us were bitching at how awfully boring it was. Soon, sm and I were so bored we went off to crazy elephant for a beer. This is the first time I went for a party and came home so early! I'm home even before the time usually go to bed. Let's hope next week's ntu hall bash would be tons more fun.

Another busy day tomorrow! GOing to vivo with fel to check out the heroes cast, followed by a stayover mugfest and shimin's hall! And sistic better be available by tomorrow cuz I really need to get my black sabath tics by tmr before the prices go up!!

Birthday photos! There aren't alot and all pretty ugly because of AUNTIE'S CAMERA.
I think my camera died. I need a new one:(.

I got the gay angmoh dude as my lit tutor! Hahah. All f us exchanged looks the moment he sauntered in, which was a pretty funny moment. But he's a nice guy so far, and no homework yet! Yay! During eurostudies, the coach (yes, that's what our lecturer likes to be called, and he wears a baseball cap all the time to emphasize his point) broke out in song again. Last week it was a french patriotic song, this time was a good old british nationalistic tune. Whacky dude who likes to end the elcture with "That's all folks! Be sure to stay tuned!" nd when we were getting to noisy, he'd say "Be quiet or I'll send Jack(the other lecturer) up there!" And all that jack would do is smile and wave and us. Hahah. It's all pretty entertaining in an otherwise terribly boring lecture in which I fell asleep halfway.

Dental appointment then off to kino to get my notebook! I realized that organizers are just too...organized. Everything is so rigid and neat. The weeks are all seperated, the days are marked, with the last few fages just lined to add extra notes for you. Each time I open it, I feel like my life is so scheduled and routined, my whole day planned out perfectly for me. It was jsut too suffocating, so I just had to switch back to my good old notebook. In which it's pages I could scribble whatever rubbish, whenever and wherever, with no lines or dates restricting me. I dictate the format and fill in what date it is and only have the date entry entered when I actually did something on that day itself!

Quizzes to ail a tired mind after being forcefed shovelsful of information on Nappy-olean, the great conquerer afraid of cats.

You Are a Carousel

You are young at heart and a truly playful person. No one would ever accuse you of taking life too seriously. You are definitely in things for the fun. You find joy easily, and you are often building up anticipation for your next adventure. In relationships, you tend to want to be babied and taken care of. And while you may be a bit high maintenance, you are incredibly loyal. Your life is simple and satisfying. Each day you treat yourself to something you enjoy. You have a lot of emotional attachments, and experiences are extra vivid to you. You tend to be nostalgic and sentimental. The past is important to you. Comfortable around all living things, you have a special connection to animals and children. At your best, you are whimsical, free spirited, and creative. Even if your schemes seem a bit strange, they usually work out wonderfully. At your worst, you are spoiled, demanding, and impossible to satisfy. You've been known to act like a brat if you aren't getting your way!

What Carnival Ride Are You?

You Are a Red Crayon

Your world is colored with bright, vivid, wild colors. You have a deep, complex personality - and you are always expressing something about yourself. Bold and dominant, you are a natural leader. You have an energy that is intense... and sometimes overwhelming. Your reaction to everything tends to be strong. You are the master of love-hate relationships. Your color wheel opposite is green. Green people are way too mellow to understand what drives your energy.

What Color Crayon Are You?

You Are 64% Emo

While you may not be completely emo, you have a sensitive, deep, troubled soul.

Are You Emo?

What Your Pizza Reveals

You have a hearty appetite. You are likely to complain if a restaurant has small portions. You consider pizza to be bread... very good bread. You fit in best in the Midwest part of the US. Your taste is rather complex and sophisticated. You consider yourself a gourmet - and a bit of a snob. You are generous, outgoing, and considerate with your choices. You are cultured and intellectual. You should consider traveling to Vienna. The stereotype that best fits you is emo. You think you're special... and you kind of are.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

You are Glass Sandals

Dramatic and unique You're sure to be wearing something no one else is And you're not telling anyone where you bought it!

What Kind of Sandal Are You?

My mum just discovered the bracelt I coveted for
was from miss sixty, not diesel. HAHHA.
OH WELL.

I only have one tuitorial this week, cuz the rest are on even weeks. Whoopee!
Thai was quite fun, as our teacher was really funny and she made it a very casual setting instead of rote learning by the book.
SIMENG, KHUN ?UAN MAI KHA

Timbre was great! I'm really happy my birthday was spent with the mugsoc at timbre. Music, drinks and food, the three essentials of life! The band was pretty good, apart from the drummer who was a little robotic. They could improve on the service though! Firstly, they didn't receive our reservation. Seondly, they kept rushing us to order our food VERY SUBTLY. I.e. three waiters came up to us in a span of like half an hour, asking what we would like to order, when one waitress finally complained to the manager/supervisor, who came up to ask and jokingly asked " So ladies, would you be ordering anything today? Just joking!" Like thanks alot dude! Hmph. At least the music made up for the service they provided.

Auntie! I want pictures!

18:01:49] sch :( says:
ooh i dun mind working in toy shop!
[18:01:50] sch :( says:
hahah
[18:01:56] sch :( says:
oh working in kino will be cool la!
[18:02:10] sch :( says:
but muz we need to learn a bit of jap tt kinda thing?
[18:03:34] sch :( joins conversation
[18:03:40] mirror kissers says:
DONT NEED LAH!!!!
[18:03:45] mirror kissers says:
OMG YOURE DAMN FUNNY

omg ky is so cute lah

I want to get blue streaks in my hair for my birthday.
I want a diesel charm winged bracelet.
But I don't want a big hole in my wallet for my birthday,
if not I would have to desire for a wallet too.

Yay! I got all my tutorial timings that I balloted for. They aren't the best timings, with HUGE breaks in between, but I guess it's the best SO FAR. Sigh, now I have to go read about Louis XVI and napolean which I have NO CLUE about.

Check -->this<-- out!

I'm not too sure if I can believe them or not as it sounds really very controversial.I'll just read it with a handful of salt.